ChaCha.com

Today as I lived in the digital world without a soundcard for the third consecutive week, my spirits hit an all time low. Internet humor can only amuse me for so long. Silent pornography can only keep me aroused 13 hours of the day. That leaves (as I open the MS calculator) 11 hours of spare time for my mind to wander and change screensavers 14 times. I thought I was a goner… until I came accross ChaCha.com.

ChaCha.com is one of the new waves of Social Search Engines that have been all the crazy lately. According to Wikipedia, Social Searching is, “Simply put, social search tools are internet wayfinding services informed by human judgement.” In other words, you type in what you want found, and a guide will appear in a chat room setting and help you find whatever it is you’re looking for. The idea is to give better results because it’s a human being searching for it, and not just a robot (so instead of you typing in what you want found, they do it for you… after you already did once).

So I decided to put this ChaCha social searching and their all-knowledgable guides to the test. Let the social searching begin!

My quest for Counter-Strike: Source hacks.

I. Guide #1: Useless, didn’t even respond. I insisted several times that I was in immediate need of CS:S hacks and he failed to even type back to me to let me know that he was alive. I assume he was either masturbating, or went AFK (on the job!) to get a cup of coffee.

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: HushangA
HushangA: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: yo sups
You: i need sum hax or cheatcodes for countar strike source
You: cuz these azn fools are messin me up in this server so can u hook me up wit a aimbot pls?
You: hello?
You: yo hushgangA u there
You: Thanks, I’m done.
Status: Session ended.

II. Guide #2: Pretty helpful. Actually responded this time unlike that jerkass HushangA. He seemed a little unsure of the legality of the use of CS:S hacks. ROFL OMG NOOB.

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: DanielM
DanielM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: yo sups u there
DanielM: H
You: h?
DanielM: Hello* sorry
You: lol
DanielM: What can I help you with?
You: yo i need an aimbot for countarstrike source cuz these azn fools from ma school keep killin me so i wana kill them quicker u kno
You: hello
DanielM: aim bot? Could you please clear that up for me?
You: its dis program that aims at the other teams heads so u can kill them with 1 shot
DanielM: Aimbot for counterstrike?
You: yeah
You: counterstrike: source tbh
DanielM: your keywords mention cheats and hacks?
You: naw not hax lols thats just what they call them but they are really jus cheats
You: like IDDQD for doom
DanielM: I found some matches, is this legal?
You: naw lotsa people use em
You: yo
DanielM: I’m trying to get you some results soon as possible, many of the pages on the search are not loading, hold on a moment
You: o aite
DanielM: This is illegal, correct?
You: im listenin to tupac
You: illegal? those azn doods use em all the time
You: if its on da web how could it be eilligal
DanielM: I’m sorry but this is questionable content and I cannot send it. Hope you understand. Have a good night.
DanielM: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

III. Guide #3: The last and final guide. If I didn’t get CS:S hacks from this guy, I was going to give up my search for good. If ChaCha.com can’t deliver me the 1-shot kill in the digital world, who could?

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: KristineM
KristineM: Welcome to ChaCha!
KristineM: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

BUSTED!

Well, that did it for me. ChaCha.com is officially the WORST guided search engine ever (and probably the only one as well). I’d like to thank HushangA, KristineM, and DanielM for helping me out with my review of ChaCha.com. Hopefully their shitty attitude towards guided searching will deter the use of this useless service in the future.